


Why Healers Drink

by AlterImpulse



Category: Xenogears
Genre: Alcohol, Buddies, Dark Past, Doctors & Physicians, Friendship, Gen, Healers, Inktober, Inktober 2018, Leeroy Jenkins Reference, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, Mages, Magic-Users, Male Friendship, Past Abuse, Post-Battle, Underage Drinking, Walk Into A Bar, complaining, drinking and talking, heal me, heal plz, poor cinnamon roll billy lee black, ranting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 14:09:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16220687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlterImpulse/pseuds/AlterImpulse
Summary: Citan and Billy have a chat about being the party heals and some more important things as well. Short one-shot friendship flash fic/ficlet. Inktober October 07 prompt "Exhausted."





	Why Healers Drink

**Author's Note:**

> Set vaguely near the end of Disc 1 before the Solaris invasion or once the party unites again on Disc 2.
> 
> Rated M for underage drinking (although it likely isn't in canon, where the drinking age seems to be "can you see above the bar," but yeah) and a mention of Billy's canon past trauma.

He had never seen the young ex-priest so angry. Billy had stormed out of the shower room of the Yggdrasil in front of him, and were the doors not automated sliding doors, he would have most definitely slammed it hard enough to tear it from his hinges. He kicked a pebble that had somehow been tracked onto the airship so hard that it bounced against the wall with a loud _plink_ of rock against metal, and the look on his face reminded him almost of Id at his most rageful.

Citan almost felt afraid to approach him in that moment, not sure what he was so angry about. _After all, he is dealing with a lot. Finding out what he did about the Ethos and Solaris, realizing that Isaac was using him in ways I do not even wish to contemplate, and keeping it all bottled up behind shyness. There is nothing I can do for any of that._

That was when he saw Billy draw his guns, stand, and ready himself to shoot at a solid metal supply closet door. _He could kill himself with that. I had better step in._

“Didn’t Jess teach you a thing about ricochets and spalling? Cease fire!” He ducked at an angle he would not be hit if the other man didn’t listen or care - Jessie had, after all, once done the same thing one day at the Jugend training range, and somehow they had both survived with grazes and Jessie losing rank for two months.

“I fucking told them,” Billy spat, his entire body seeming to shake with rage. “But did they listen? Of course not!”

 _I do not think I have ever heard you use such language, but now I do know what the problem is, rather well._ “They never do.” Citan chuckled at that. “I saw Bart recovering in the infirmary, and Elly looked almost as angry as you when I ran across her earlier.” In that moment, he decided it was better to not relate what Elly had said about Billy not casting a healing Ether fast enough and their having to run, dragging Bart back with them. “Would you like to join me for a drink? I am all too familiar with such experiences.”

“A… a drink? I have not ever drank alcohol. I am not my dad-“

“If you are going to take on the role of healer for these excursions, you will likely find yourself doing so quite often,” Citan said, as he leaned against the cold metal of the ship wall. “Plus, Rosesols do have the most bitter taste. I do think a blend with a good drink makes them go down easier for your recovery. Doc’s orders.” A smile. “Besides, if you are old enough to almost die, you are old enough to drink.”

Billy seemed to relax at that, and unloaded and reholstered his guns. “You actually understand this? What it is like to have them ignore-“

“Too well, especially if the prince is out there. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to draw myself to my limit saving his ass when if he had just stood back and allowed me to go first, the fight would have been over in a matter of seconds.”

“About the drink, thank you,” Billy said, as they walked to Maison’s bar. “I can’t believe they blamed _me_ for our losing so badly. I told them being on foot to fight those creatures was an awful idea. Had we just been in our Gears-“

“I know that quite well too. I still remember the time I told Fei he _had_ to be in Weltall to even have a chance, and he goes charging in on foot - if I had not thought to get in Heimdal that moment he would have been severely injured at least.” Citan sighed and turned to Maison. “Do you not have similar recollections?”

The old bartender of the Yggdrasil laughed at that. “I have never cast Ethers, but I quite well remember more than a few fights where Sigurd and I had to jump in and pull the young master back while we fought with our swords. He is rather hot-headed. What will you two be having?”

“For me, three melon liquor shots to start,” Citan smiled at him. “Billy, do you like sweet or bitter more?” Then he turned to Maison. “It is our new friend’s very first drink.”

“Sweet, I guess.” Billy laughed slightly nervously and scratched at his hair for a moment. “I hate the smell of whiskey though.”

“Then no whiskey for you, I will make a note of that,” Maison said. “I recommend a frozen sweet drink. An Ariberry daiquiri cuts the bitterness of Rosesols quite well.”

“Then I shall have that.” Billy nodded to him and sat there quietly for a moment before speaking. “I was so angry! I still am! We could have taken those mammoths if we were not on foot, and then Bart went in first and got his whips stuck on the horns! It threw him back into Elly and she broke her concentration…”

“And that meant she had to start casting her attack Ethers again, am I correct? That is why I have always preferred a strong physical attack and going first.”

“Indeed, I couldn’t even get a shot in!” Billy glared as he took his drink and dumped two Rosesols into it. “I had to heal Bart because he had knocked his head very badly and had I not, he could have suffered brain damage-“

“Sometimes I think he has,” Citan laughed and polished off the melon shots, ordering three more. “I _hate_ being in the same battle party as him. He is only now learning actual battle tactics beyond ‘charge in swinging whips,’ while I have been _far_ better trained in combat tactics.”

“As have I!” Billy sipped at his drink, at first slightly grimacing at the taste. “And then it got even worse! Elly and I knew what we are doing, but she decided she could knock out one of the mammoths with her sleep rod, but she missed and then it ran for her! Have you ever seen a mammoth horn through the ribcage? If I had not cast my strongest, she would have bled to death from that-“

Citan sighed deeply and nodded. “That does remind me of the time Fei ran into six Hobs thinking he could take them all at once. At the time, he lacked true combat experience, and did not realize you cannot just kick everything from the middle of the group without something grabbing you.” He drank the last of his round of melon shots and slammed the glass down. “I had to pull them all onto me and punch my way out, then I spent the night healing him. And telling him if he _ever_ did something that stupid again…”

“It seems Fei has definitely learned more about fighting, since then. I never thought he would be so rash.”

“Even as his other self which you have seen, he is. Except in that form, his sheer power makes up for his lack of tactical skill. That said, it is most definitely not worth it.”

“I have a feeling I know what you have just let slip, but I won’t tell anyone. You mean that red-haired guy?” Billy asked, a look of realization dawning on his face.

“Yes, him. But I should not have told you, yet I feel as if I can trust you.” The alcohol finally had began to have an effect, and Citan knew well enough that meant he might say things he should probably keep to himself, but something about Billy’s presence just seemed calming, safe, as the younger man seemed to relax himself, the anger dissipating from his features. “That form is even worse! He will push his form to absolute collapse and leave Fei in horrific shape once he is done! As you saw him in the infirmary as well! I fear some day he will be beyond my abilities both in regard to Ether and the actual medical sciences!”

“You really are a doctor, then?” Billy finished his drink and slid the glass back to Maison.

“I became a battlefield medic in Jugend.” Citan ordered another drink, a tall glass of aged red wine. “It is enough for the surface and most average issues, though most actual doctors in Solaris or Shevat would know more there, as you likely understand. I wish I had learned more, with what we are now facing.”

“I think that’s what I want to be,” Billy quietly said, as Maison refilled his glass. “I wanted to help people. I still do.”

“Then you should speak with Gaspar next time we are in Shevat. And the infirmary people. Learn all that you can. You do like to read as much as I, and that is helpful. But… this frustration you feel may be almost as bad as it is in battle.” Citan looked down at his almost finished wine. “Another, and a coshmopo-ahh, whatever that drink in the glass I have when I am well into it is,” he said, a slur in his words as Maison refilled his glass and began to make the next drink. “When I worked as such in Lahan and briefly in the prison, I ran across people who made me need to do this almost every few days.”

“Oh?” Billy smiled in that moment, something Citan had rarely seen from someone he had immediately determined to be overly serious. “What were your patients like?”

“Ninety percent of them were injuries and illnesses that could have been prevented with a few moments of rational thinking. No one ever knows how to handle explosives or tools with any degree of sense, no one ever uses protection when engaging in intimate activitish, and no one ever realized that drinking too mush can get you in trouble.” A bitter laugh. “The things I have sheen.”

“I can imagine,” Billy said. “Speaking of drinking too much, I think _you_ may be doing so. Your voice sounds different.”

“I am _not_ drunk.” Citan leaned on the bar a moment. “You have never seen me truly drink. I could take on your dad in a contest and shurvive.”

“I saw you after that party with him.” Billy said. “He got you back to your room after you got Siggy back to his. You kinda fell down then. And you said the same thing-“

“Yes… I admittedly have rather hazy memories of that night.” He looked at him. “You remind me of Jessie. A lot. He pretenss not to care, sometimes, but he cared more than any of us. A beautiful heart. I could she you as a doctor.” A laugh. “Probably a better one than myself.”

“Thanks,” Billy said, and sipped at his drink.

“You are feeling better now, are you not? Do not make the mistake your father and I do and overuse this, though it may become quite the temptation if you get into battles as I have. I am reminded of the time Rico told me he did not need a barrier to assist his defenses. A moment later, that Welsh in the sewer had him on his back at the brinka death, and Fei had to hold it off while I healed him! I almost had it _down_ and then he had to go and be a show-show-off!”

Billy nodded. “I am. By the way, you… have done this longer than I have. Is there a way to draw upon your abilities faster? I can draw my weapons and fire faster than I can-“

“So can I! I can have my sword through shomething in the time it takes me to cast an Ether and be fucking done with it!” Citan imitated the move with his martini glass, breaking it on the bar and twirling the stem between his fingers. “And yet every time, especially if it is Bart or Rico or Elly, they _alwaysh_  want me to shimply shtay back and heal because they don’t _want_ me to jush fight, they think they are more skilled than someone who could almost _singlehandedly_ take down Shevat itself-“ He punctuated the statement by jumping backwards to flip onto the bar and do his very best victory pose with a fan pulled from his sash.

Maison eyed him with a steely glare at both the broken glass and the last words and the jump onto the bar, then looked at Billy. “For a first time drinker, you are far more responsible than Uzuki here.” A chuckle of his own. “Can you call for Sigurd to take him to his room?”

“I am merely getting started.” Citan waved the fan vaguely at his face. “It is rather too warm in here.”

Billy let his hand rest on the kimono’s sash before he caught himself and cringed somewhat at the gesture. “Uh, force of habit. I will go find Siggy to get you back to your room.”

“Please do,” Citan said. “I think Maison there may be correct, and I need to rest. You should not feel the need to try to shell yourshelf to us. We don’t want to take advantage of you. I certainly don’t. That is not why I asked you to drink with me tonight.” He looked at him as he sat there on the barstool, half slumped on the bar. “Though… from now on, if we can go into battles together, we can trade off on the healing Ethers? That way you will gain more skill, and we can both actually fight as well. But aside from that…”

“Deal.” Billy hugged him tightly and smiled. “And both of us can talk some sense into whoever is with us.” With that, he ran off to find Sigurd.

**Author's Note:**

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